When I Became A Mom

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I will never forget, it was September, we were newly married (3 month newlyweds) and I missed my period (hence a trip to the drug store to get the pregnancy test).    That morning, my husband waited in bed when I peed on the stick, I called him in and we saw the double lines come screaming through--positively positive!   We both felt this incredible miracle between us happening, then the first words out of his mouth were "you know, your still going to have to work"!  EEEEEKKKK!!!!   I did NOT want to work, I had always dreamed of being home with my kids, my sisters stayed home w/their kids or worked just limited hours, my sister-in-law was a SAHM, my mom was the best mom on the planet, and guess what...  she was home with us!  We were not ready financially to go down to one income.  There was NO WAY I would work a full time job and not see my child, I felt so strongly about that, I told my husband I would rather sell our new home we just purchased 4 months before.  I was not against working, I have always loved work, I had a great career and had worked hard moving up the corporate ladder, infact, I was to receive my masters degree in the Spring, at the same time baby would arrive.   My world shifted, I no longer cared about my title, I no longer cared about my great income, I no longer cared about my next career move, I wanted to be home with my baby and somehow have a flexible work arrangement (I would eventually build a career from home on my own terms).  I had a dear friend at work that had arranged a flexible schedule and I thought, why not do that, why not put together a proposal and that I did.  I negotiated with my company to allow me to go into the office two days a week, take one personal day each week and work 2 flex days from home.  They accepted my offer and gave me this arrangement, my goal was to be at home more than at work--I was able to meet all needs, bring in a strong income, be home w/my baby more than at work.  

On June 10th 1999, my dreams came true when my daughter was born (I will refer to her as monkey 1), I was a mom.   She was born at 1am and my world changed.  I held her (and all you moms know how this feels), and told her I was her mommy and I was going to take the best care ever of her.  What a precious time in our life.  Sidebar Comment:  why do "they" never reveal how painful and overwhelming childbirth is?  C'mon now, it is the most intense, pain and incredibly physical experience ever!!!!    Is it a code not to share how it "really" feels?
Any who, we are home, we are happy and adjusting to new baby, new schedule and realizing how much work baby is (I can remember not being able to shower until after noon), one baby was so overwhelming, busy and delicious!   Back to work after 2 months leave (I went back a month early to get 1 day off a week, it was strategic and the best decision because it allowed me months of flexibility and extended my time off).  Life was great, I had tremendous balance, I was home more than working but I got a taste of dressing normal, being around adults, planning and keeping my pen in the game.  I was SOOOOO happy, I was a HIPP Mom before I even knew what a HIPP mom was!  AND, my baby slept through the night 7pm to 7am at 9 weeks old, I thought I was all that and a bag of chips, I had this mom thing down!   All was grand until my company asked me to come in 3 days a week (baby was now 1 year old).  Ugh, I went from feeling completely balanced to feeling like I did not see my girl 3 days in a row (T,W,TH), this was not going to work!  This actually turned out to be a good thing for me.  I learned my threshold as a mom and basically it taught me about how much time I was willing to be away from my child, I did this arrangement for a few months and realized that I needed to be home more than at the office, fortunately, my company agreed to go back and I cut my pay to be in the office just 2 days each week (which gave me some balance outside of the new demands of being a mom).   It was great for me to get a taste of something outside of monkey 1 but was great for monkey 1 because she was with me most of the week and with Gramma on the other 2 days, what a blessed life my baby had!  I worked this balanced schedule until baby #2 was born.  Things could not have been better.  I had incredible days at home with monkey 1, breakfast, reading, play time, a long walk outside in the stroller, out door play, back inside for lunch, story time, nappie time, then play time, dinner, daddy home, lots of fun on the floor with daddy, bath time (sometimes before daddy) bedtime story, and baby laid down in crib at 7pm (on the dot)!  Wake up, repeat, and on Tuesday and Thursdays, baby is driven to Gramma's (and Gramma did the same schedule)!  It was mommy bliss!  Balance, happy, challenged but loving everything about being a mom, so much that we had baby #2 on the way.  Stay tuned for more on what happens when baby #2 arrives and my quest for balance and being a mom.  How do you juggle 2 babies and  flexibility to be home!?    Let me give you a hint:  SAHM or bust!
Have a HIPP day!!!!!!!


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